Overcoming

It has been over 2 weeks since my last post, and I am so sorry about that. I have been struggling to find time for everything. I went through another rough patch with my journey to a better me. I had myself convinced that I could not see the changes in me. My pants size was not coming down quickly enough for me. I felt like I was weird looking and weird shaped. I began to wonder if I would be ugly if I reached my weight goal. It was a pretty bad time for me, but I got through it. I had the support of a wonderful boyfriend and a few friends that were there to set me straight. It started with a work function. I don't get to some of my co-workers very often, and I was nervous and excited. Even though I am not making all these changes to be noticed, I still wanted all my effort, time, tears, joy, and energy I have put in to reaching my goals to give me a noticable change. Only one person could really see it, but I see her more than the rest of them. I let it get to me. Even though I know my changes are noticeable... even though I said I would NOT let other's opinions (or the lack of) affect me, I allowed myself to be sad and to feel like a failure. It was a very sad week, but the voice inside my head that said that even if I didn't lose any more weight or have my pants size stay the same, I could still do more than I could before. I couldn't walk/jog a 10 minute mile before. I couldn't walk 5 miles in an hour, but I can now. I can do those things, and I'm going to keep doing them because it makes me happy and makes me feel stronger. That little voice really came through for me. I have much more to write about, but this isn't the post for all of that. I just wanted to give an update. I'm still determined. I'm still walking and pushing myself. I'm still losing weight, and if I can make it through all of my own insecurities and battles, I think you can strive for your goals and succeed. I can't give up this time. I want to see a better person when I look in the mirror. It isn't about losing weight. I want to see a loving, caring person who overcame her fears and all obstacles to reach her goal. I won't give up.